Every romantic relationship is an opportunity to learn about yourself, and to be able to take advantage of this requires the understanding that all relationships between two people, in reality, are triangular in nature. There is a third entity that lives in the relationship just as much as the couple does, with its own ambitions, its own desires, fears, wounds, beliefs and ideas, wants and needs. In truth, the couple are not in a relationship with each other, but relate to themselves through this third entity. It is with it, that they are in a relationship with.
This third entity is their dynamic.
Misunderstanding this will destroy a relationship, inevitably, because when, for example, there is negativity between the couple, thinking that the cause of it is one of the individuals or that the other is to blame, is detrimental. The truth is that there is negativity in the dynamic, not in the couple, and the choice is either to let it be, resolve it or take it personally.
Only by not identifying with the relationship can each one have the opportunity to observe who they are, learn from it and overcome themselves.